Written by Zachary Zane
I never used to understand my friends’ obsession with fucking down-low or DL men (straight-identifying men, often with wives or girlfriends, who actively seek surreptitious sexual encounters with other guys). Why would I want to hook up with a closeted guy? Why would I want to feel like I’m going back in the closet? I also couldn’t help but feel at least a little bad for their female partners, who they were lying to and cheating on. And frankly, I felt bad for the guys, too. Wouldn’t they be happier if they came out? Isn’t perpetually hiding your sexuality—who you are—exhausting?
I also felt the attraction unhealthily fetishized masculinity. My friends think DL guys are “hotter” because they present more masculine and traditionally “straight.” DL guys are deemed more “manly” because they fuck women. (Not true! I fuck plenty of women as a bi guy, and I can tell you confidently I am not more manly than any of the gayest faggots out there!)
Still, I never judged, or at least I didn’t express my judgment to them. I also knew there were cultural and racial components of DL culture I couldn’t ever understand as a white man, but still, I had thoughts.
Well, recently on Sniffies, I’ve been hooking up with a bunch of DL men. This hasn’t been on purpose. But it turns out when I’m horny, I don’t give a damn if you’re out or not. I go into complete tunnel vision mode; I see a big dick or a juicy ass, and all I can think is: “I WANT IT NOW.”
Thirty minutes later, I’m either ass up, balls deep, or sucking some dick. (God bless!)
And ya know what? I think I get it now. The secrecy is hot. The sneaking around is hot. Not to mention how desired you feel that a man is willing to risk his relationship (or being outed) to be with you.
Additionally, in my experience, DL dudes have been rougher. There’s this animalistic urgency I’ve experienced with DL men. It’s almost like they’re letting their closeted rage out on me. And baby, lay it on me. Slap my face. Gag me. Pound me. Take what you want. Are you jealous that I’m out and happily living my life as a queer man, and so you want to punish me with that cock? Sir, do it. Do it now.
They also fucking love it. Maybe it’s because they don’t get to have sex with men as often as out guys do. Maybe it’s because they’re having sex with men, which is what they really want to be doing. They have to fake it when they’re with women. Whatever the reason may be, I’m not complaining.
While I could attempt to further psychoanalyze DL guys or out men who enjoy hooking up with them, I no longer do. I’m no longer judgmental. I don’t worry if the desire is coming from the “healthiest” of places. We all have sex for various reasons. As long as it’s consensual, I say live and let live.
I’ve finally joined my friends. I finally “get it” now. So, my DL dudes, if you see me on Sniffies, please, for the love of God, hit me up.
