Embrace Your Sexuality, Release the Shame

September 10, 2020

Embrace Your Sexuality, Release the Shame

Be yourself. Find what drives you, and most importantly get what you want.

We’re taught that pleasure is dirty. We’ve been told that hedonism is bad. We’re forced to learn that when we feel good, we should be ashamed.

But lately, there’s been a shift. What’s so bad about getting what we want, we wonder? Is hedonism a word invented to shame us? Who stays in power when we feel ashamed of our own urges, we’ve begun to ask? Who profits when we feel we aren’t allowed to satisfy our needs?

And slowly, bit by bit, through our scrutiny, we’ve begun to reshape the status quo. Suddenly there are opportunities to sate our desires. Suddenly, we discover the freedom to try something new without fear; the freedom to be uniquely authentic in ourselves, whatever that may mean for you.

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In the face of this unbridled freedom, though, we’re presented with two questions: faced with a vast field of possibilities, which direction do we go? And, why haven't we gone there before?

The two questions are informed by each other, which of course means that their answers must be equally intertwined.

Satisfying your curiosity can be daunting. We are familiar with need and want – we want so many things that we don't have. Satisfaction, appeasement – these are feelings more alien to us. Perhaps this is why we haven't explored the satiation of our desire – we’re afraid to be without our wants. Perhaps, too, it’s our responsibility to satisfy that desire, and to release the fear and judgement we’ve learned to feel about getting what we want; namely: sex.

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It's true that our bodies have a clear idea of where to go; when we can quiet our mind and listen to what our bodies want, it becomes obvious. Sometimes this first instinct isn't our best option, though. Often we crave comfort of familiarity, only to find that familiarity stifling and stuffy. We must try to move towards what we fear, in order to discover the true newness of a place - a way of being, heretofore unknown.

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We must shepherds ourselves and each other along the path towards that newness by allowing each other uninhibited exploration of our desires without judgement. Pleasure isn’t something to be feared, and in fact, we may discover that pleasure is meant to be pursued. As often as you like.

This knowledge, and, better yet, the understanding that follows knowledge brings about the tantalizing opportunity for self discovery, for a bright newness, and to truly know ourselves by doing - all you have to do is get after it.