Written by Zachary Zane
It’s fully summer, which means only one thing: It’s time to transition to summer slut mode. While it may sound simple, slutting it up during the warm months is a full-time job. It involves taking and giving multiple loads daily and excelling in time management, and that nebulous word coveted by relationship therapists: communication. After all, you’re not trying to hurt your partners, lovers, or fuck-buddies; you’re just trying to spread your wings and bust a party mix of nuts. However, if you dick down too well, they may catch feelings—even if you thought it would be a one-time lay.
Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto by Zachary Zane
Luckily, I’m here to help. I’ve fucked around 2,500 people. In that time, I’ve learned a thing or two about being a slut. (I write all about it in my new book Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto.) Below, I share tips for being a feral beast this summer so that you and your countless partners get precisely what you all want.
How to convey to your BF that you’re going to be a hole for the greater metropolitan area
It’s simpler to navigate being a slut when you’re single than when you have a primary partner (or two). Still, it’s not impossible. There are plenty of gay and bi men in loving and supportive hierarchical consensual non-monogamous relationships. The men in these relationships often have the best and sluttiest summers. The key to their success is communicating before all their slutty shenanigans begin. These men have ground rules that they both follow so that nothing surprises the other. Hint: Many problems with open relationships arise when you think your partner isn’t going to do something, but then they do.
So, well before your hole gets stretched out, talk to your partner(s), and let them know it’s your summer to be a slut... Ask them if they want to join you or if you can do your own thing... Also, ask if there are ways you can support them to ensure they feel loved when you’re off galavanting in dark rooms or on beaches. You don’t want them to feel neglected or unloved. In other words: Don’t forget about your main man even though you’re excited about the dick buffet.
Illustration by Joseph Teeling
Where to find the gayest and sluttiest men
Of course, there’s Fire Island, Provincetown, and Puerto Vallarta. Every slutty gay knows about those places (and either loves or hates them—both valid). But I’d also suggest checking out some places for Pride Month. Pride in unfamiliar territory is always a fucking blast. I also recommend heading to Chicago for Market Days (August 12 and 13th). While I’ve only been to Chicago for Market Days and not their Pride, I’ve heard from many Chicagoans that Market Days is, in fact, better than Chicago Pride. At the end of September, there’s also the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, which is a kink, fetish, and pro-leather haven.
Illustration by Joseph Teeling
How to get what you want (sexually)
If you’re meeting out and about and things get hot and heavy, use this magical phrase: “It would be so hot if you….” Fill in the ending with whatever you want — “spat in my mouth,” “choked me,” “came on my face,” etc. People are often so afraid to express their sexual desires when the worst that can happen is the simple reply, “No.” If they’re not into it, that’s okay! No harm, no foul. If you’re not sexually compatible, find someone who is. There are plenty of kinky fuckers in the sea.
How to explore summer kink and fetishes
Certain kinks lend themselves better to summer. Generally, cruising is better during the summer. Everyone is half-naked, wearing crop tops, tank tops, Speedos, booty shorts, etc. (There’s nothing like getting some dick on the beach while the sun shines down on your butt cheeks.)
But also, are you feeling hot? Cool off with a golden shower. Dehydrated? Have him spit in your mouth. While I’m kind of kidding here, I’m also somewhat serious! Use summer as an opportunity to explore new sexual activities and bodily necessities.
Illustration by Joseph Teeling
What to do if your hookup catches feelings
If you’re feeling it, well, give him a chance! Maybe he’s someone who will join you on your sexcapades—a slutty tag-team, a Bonnie and Clyde-Esq duo.
But if you don’t want to see him more than once, you gotta let him down easy. Say kindly and directly, “I had a really fun time with you. But honestly, this summer, I was looking forward to being a slut, and I need to continue down that path.” He’ll understand… or he won’t. Regardless, you’re doing the right thing by not ghosting him. No one likes to be left in an unnerving limbo, wondering if a crush likes them back or not.
Also, if you are not trying to get tied down this summer, I’d note that in your Sniffies bio. There are fun(ny) ways to make it clear that you are just trying to be a hole this summer.
You can write, “Planning on being a slut all summer long” or “Trying to collect all the loads this summer.” Let us not forget: Slutty attracts slutty, which is what you want!
How often to get tested
If you’re sucking and fucking your way through your city, you should get tested more frequently than your routine PrEP testing every three months. If you’re taking nonstop loads or putting your dick in every man with a pulse, then once a month isn’t a bad idea.
And that’s it, boys! Let the slutty summer of fun commence. And if you find me on Sniffies, for the love of God, say all the nasty things you’d like to do to my body.
Zachary Zane is the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. You can purchase his book here!
