If you’ve ever gotten the feeling that all the guys with huge cocks are hanging out together without you, I’m sorry to tell you it might be true. If they’re not hanging out, they’ve at least formed group chats—across different apps, with members from all over the world—to show off with each other. If you don’t meet the size requirements, or simply haven’t been invited, we’re here to help.
FOMOOHC (Fear Of Missing Out On Huge Cocks) is real, which is why Sniffies HUSH is bringing you an interview with a member—who asked to remain anonymous, lest he be ejected from his own big dick group chat—for an inside look at one of several of these exclusive groups.
Sniffies: I think the most important questions—the one everyone wants to know—is: How did you get invited to your big dick group chat?
Anonymous: This was a while ago—I think two years ago. I think it was a friend that I made in Provincetown who’s famous for his big dong. He was like “you should join this group, it’s really sexy.” And I was like “sure, twist my arm.”
I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but my dick is a big part of my life, and it definitely tends to come up in sexualized spaces—of which Provincetown is one. If you’re my good friend, and especially if you’re a faggot, it comes up at some point.
S: And, just for the sake of journalism, how big is your dick, exactly?
A: My dick is a little over eight and a half inches, and like six and a half around.
S: Is there a minimum size requirement for entry?
A: I don’t know that there are hard rules about dick size, it’s just referral only. Like, you know it when you see it. But there are definitely some hard rules in this WhatsApp group.
S: What are the hard rules?
A: The hard rule is that you have to send a picture of your dick. There’s no chatting without a picture. It’s a lot like “I’m here is anyone else here” kind of vibes. For instance, when I went to Spain last year, I was like “Hey I’m in Madrid. Just saying hi,” and I posted a picture of my boner when I sent that.
Also, and I could be wrong about this, but I believe there’s a purging if you don’t post often enough.
S: So what came of your Madrid boner picture?
A: The fun part about it is everytime you post a picture you get reactions. You get emoji reactions for sure, but you also get—I usually get four to six DMs afterwards being like “woah cool dick,” or swapping more pictures.
S: Are people posting dick exclusively, or do they include their face or anything else?
A: The majority of the content is dick pics with no face. Second is videos of dick with no face. It’s not unheard of to post face. I always post my face because I’m a slut.
S: Have you posted anything wild to the chat? Besides your dick and face?
A: The last image I sent was a picture of me post-my-third-Sniffies-bukake.
