It’s time for spring cleaning, Cruisers. The weather is getting warmer, and the streets are crawling with Cruisers ready to make a connection happen. They’re holding eye contact in the streets, they’re rearranging one too many times in the sauna, they’re spending a suspiciously long time at the urinal directly next to yours. Will you be ready? 

We caught up with Alex, the mind behind TheBottomsDigest, to curate the spring cleaning tips and tricks you’ll want to know to make sure you’re ready when the cruising opportunity presents itself. In this interview, that’s been edited and condensed for clarity, we chatted about best douching practices, the most common douching pitfalls, and how bottoms can stay ready (so they don’t have to get ready).

What are the what are the most misunderstood things about douching?

You don't ever have to douche if you don't want to. I really recommend the dipstick method all the time to people—you can use either your finger or a long toy. I use a glass anal dilator. So before I ever even douche, I take one of these anal dilators, open my body up, see how clean the dilator comes out. And that will give me an idea. Need to douche or not. 

Another misconception is around overdouching. A lot of people think more is more, but with douching, less is best.

The overarching misconception is that prepping is supposed to be this nightmare—that it's supposed to take forever, and if it's not, you're not doing it right. But really, it's actually supposed to be very fast, very easy.

What would you say to somebody who feels like they can't bottom without douching because that's the only way that they can have peace of mind enough to really get into it?

If you have to do it to have peace of mind, then why wouldn’t you? But if you're going to, you might as well do it the right way. The giant rubber douche—any giant douche in general, or even a shower attachment—that's overdoing it. And over doing it can actually make spontaneity and prepping in the future even harder. 

If you have to douche for peace of mind, do it, but the minute it's taking longer than 15, 20 minutes—and you've done it 10 times, which is way too many—and the water's still not running clear, that's when  it's time to call it quits. It's not happening. That's just anatomy. And if it starts to get clear [after all that time], that's when surprise water comes out later because it gets trapped. 

If it’s really not running clear, you’re sucking some dick tonight. 

The art of the pivot, for real. There’s no point in trying to shove a square into a circle. I think we need to really get comfortable remembering that sex is not just penetration. You can have tons of fun with foreplay, you can still have your ass eaten and without douching. 

But if you're over douching you're actually messing up your chances for spontaneity in the future?

Your body already has really great systems in place to keep your rectum clean. If you’re getting enough fiber in your diet via food or a supplement, that keeps you regular, keeps things moving, and your gut lining and your rectal lining—they're the cherry on top. They make it slide right out and you're good to go,

But when you douche, or over-douche over and over again, you can actually become douching dependent, which is where your bowel regularity is so off that you don't even know when you go anymore. If you would just let nature catch up, and let your body heal and do its thing, there would actually be a really great opportunity for spontaneity in your life.

Is there a way to know if you’ve gone too far in your douching practice?

If you have like, a lot coming out, that's usually a pretty major red flag. You will feel pretty bloated—and I've seen illustrated douching guides that actually encourage this bloated feeling, this stomach cramping. That is actually a red flag that you have gone way too far, and that water is very hard to get back out. Typically, gravity will force it back out on your bed.

If you could tell one thing to yourself right before the first time you ever douched, what would you tell yourself?

I think I would if I could go back, I would really say try putting toys up there first. Because if a toy comes out clean, everything else is going to come out clean.