Arrested 28 years ago by the LAPD for getting his cock out in an LA restroom (happy anniversary!), George Michael wasn’t only cruising in the USA. After he was photographed coming out of the bushes of north London's infamous Hampstead Heath in 2012 George defiantly told reporters "There's no shame in cruising."
London-based queer health organization—The Love Tank couldn’t agree more. Here they take us through a few tips and points of etiquette for cruising Hampstead Heath, a London hotspot so entrenched in cruising culture, it’s been the site of horny, clandestine meetups since Victorian times.
Know your way around.
Lots of the cruising happens at night; if it’s your first time, get to know the lay-of-the-land before the sun goes down. It’s easy to get lost in the pathways and bushes. Because it’s dark, don’t creep-up on the action—use soft, audible queues like coughing or whistling to let your fellow cruisers know you’re coming through the bushes. Blundering through the undergrowth, or with a flashlight shining, is likely to make folks scatter.
Pack light (but smart).
The Heath is generally a pretty safe place to cruise— but keep your wits about you. Try not to take valuables along with you, and keep your phone, money, or cards in a zipped-up pocket. While there’s always a danger of pickpockets, you’re much more likely to lose those items with your pants around your ankles.
On the subject of your phone—keep those calls down (nothing is more of a boner killer than hearing you gossiping away with your buddies), and make sure you’ve charged your phone before heading out cruising. If you rely on your phone to use transportation, make sure you’ve got an alternative way to pay to get home if your phone dies.
What else to pack? Poppers (if you use them), lube, condoms, and tissues or wet-wipes. If you’re planning a long session, consider taking Doxy PEP, HIV PEP or your HIV meds with you in a small pill holder that clips to your trousers in case you don’t return home right away.
Play Responsibly.
Found the action? Chances are you’ll be near the infamous fuck tree. Nature has crafted the perfect place to get railed on. Follow the usual etiquette about joining the play: Don’t get grabby, and if someone isn’t responding to your glances and touches, then move away. There are plenty more opportunities behind a nearby bush, and enough play-mates to go around. If you see a guy giving you the eye, and looking back as he slowly walks away, it means he’s interested. Maybe give your crotch a gentle rub to show you mean business.
Done with the action? Take any play-mess away with you. We love nature and those used lube sachets, tissues, or spunky-condoms aren’t going to clear themselves up. Plus,sex litter attracts attention from folks who would rather we didn’t use the Heath for cruising.
The Heath is known as a long-standing community space. For many of us it’s been a safe and horny space away from pubs and clubs, and those of us who feel like “outsiders” in the commercial scene. See someone who needs some help, is lost or is messy from a night out? Ask them if they need help getting home. See someone in danger? Shout and ask for help. See someone from work? Remind them—there’s no shame in cruising!
PLAYLIST
- Village People - Fire Island
- Boys Town Gang – Cruisin' The Streets
- George Michael - Outside
- CHRISTEENE - Aktion Toilet
- Orville Peck - Dead of Night
- George Michael - Fastlove
- The Other People Place - Eye Contact
- Kelis - In Public
- Patrick Cowley - One Hot Afternoon
- Roy Garrett & Man Parrish – Hot Rod To Hell
- Moodymann – Freeki Mutha F cker
- Jimmy Edgar - Hot, Raw, Sex
- Giorgio Moroder - Night Drive (reprise)
- Judas Priest - Raw Deal
- Hot Chocolate - Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac
- Tory Lanez (feat. Yoko Gold) - Sex Anonymous
- Village People – I'm a Cruiser
- The Beatles - Why Don't We Just Do It In The Road
Words by: Will Nutland, The Love Tank
Playlist curated by: Richard Kahwagi, The Love Tank