To gag, in queer slang, is to be so impressed by something so much that you’re rendered speechless. When you’re sucking dick, however, it means something has reached your mouth’s threshold and you’ve triggered your body’s protective gag reflex.
But if your gag reflex is hampering your ability to deepthroat, fear not—there’s a fix for that. Throat training is the practice of gradually trying to move that limit or remove this reflex entirely. But before we learn how to manage the gag reflex, it helps to understand why we have one.
Our gag reflex ultimately protects us from choking. When something touches sensitive areas near the back of the mouth (often the back of the tongue, soft palate, or throat) it can trigger an involuntary reflex that contracts the throat muscles and attempts to push the object back out. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s an important safety mechanism.
Interestingly, gagging and not gagging can both carry sexual currency. Some men enjoy making their partners gag because it can feel like flattering evidence of their size, girth, or dominance, while the reflexive contractions of the mouth and throat may also create additional pressure and sensation around the penis.
Meanwhile, the ability to deepthroat a cock without gagging can be worn as its own badge of sexual prowess. A demonstration of skill and a practiced ability to deliver an especially memorable blowjob. After all, the “throat goat” title is bestowed only to those who earn it. That’s where throat training comes in.
For Branford, training his throat took approximately a year and a half. Tired of what they call their “pathetic gag reflex,” they purchased a throat-training toy and began practicing alone. Now, they spend roughly 15 minutes warming up with it before getting throat-fucked. For throat training, many choose smooth toys that start small and gradually become thicker toward the base.
“My warm up is for throating any large or larger dick, or if I have a Dom coming over to brutalize my throat with his dick/toys,” they say. “I treat it as a way to get myself into the mindset of accepting and taking whatever the top wants.”
Their advice is simple: use a “fuck ton” of water-based lubricant, take it easy and move at your body’s pace while gradually building on what you have previously managed. (Swallowing a little water-based lube is generally safe, but consuming a lot can cause nausea, cramping or diarrhea, and you should avoid ingesting anything with numbing or warming ingredients.) Practicing alone can be helpful because you control the speed, angle and depth, and can withdraw the toy the moment you need to.
Experienced trainer, CagedJock takes a similarly gradual approach. “Start with a small dildo, then work up the size,” he says. He recommends choosing something exceptionally smooth, using plenty of lubricant and increasing depth slowly. Once a trainee reaches a challenging but manageable depth, he counts aloud, which he says helps them remain there a little longer. “It’ll take time,” he adds.
With experience, however, that preparation may become considerably shorter.
PapiLoveDMV says his throat generally adjusts within five to 10 minutes when preparing for an especially large or thick penis. He begins slowly, attempts progressively greater depth and sometimes allows the penis to remain in place briefly before withdrawing. “After training it enough, I’m typically able to get it to where I can completely take it down to the base,” he says.
This doesn’t mean forcing yourself through pain or treating every gag as a failure. During partnered training, keeping one hand around the base of the penis can help you control how deeply it enters. Since speaking may be difficult, establish a nonverbal stop signal (such as tapping your partner’s thigh) before beginning.
PapiLoveDMV also knows how easily patience can disappear in the heat of the moment. He has occasionally been throat-fucked so forcefully that his throat remained sore for days. “Sometimes the top, or even I, can get a bit ahead of myself,” he says.
Blood, burning and sharp or significant pain are signals to stop. Avoid numbing sprays, which can suppress the sensations that warn you something is wrong.
Ultimately, throat training is less about eliminating your gag reflex than learning to work with it. Your throat may become much more accommodating, but your gag reflex isn’t permanently removed. It can still return after time away from training. Like most talents, deep-throating requires patience, practice and the occasional refresher course.