After Emil moved to London, a few things happened: He started talking like Madonna after she married Guy Ritchie, he began calling cum “man juice,” and he joined an invite-only WhatsApp gooning group.
To join, you’ll have to snag an invite from the group’s facilibator, who makes sure things stay on track. The group chat is a lively virtual orgy where guys compare their favorite poppers, send videos of themselves pumping penis, and hype up each other’s massive dongs. Sometimes, the chat’s used to organize real-world group gooning sessions.
But for the guys in the chat, the gooning group chat is a way to stay horny all week long—a low-level, multi-day edge. We followed one member of the group chat over four days to see how he gooned out and got off. Here’s how his week played out.
Day 1
In the morning, one guy sends a quick video to the group of himself jerking off. I’m still in bed before heading to work, and we flirt a bit in the chat, but neither of us has time to fuck, so I edge while we go back and forth. Later that morning, another guy sends a video to the group. It’s a disappearing video of himself sitting cross-legged on his living room floor, jerking his meat with his eyes rolled up and his tongue panting like a dog in heat. The guys respond with supportive emojis: 🍆😈🥵😵💫. I ask one guy if he’s available to goon and fuck soon. He’s not, but he sends me a disappearing pic of his cock. I edge for too long, and I’m late for work.
Day 2
Today, my fellow gooners are looking for guidance. One polls us on our favorite brand of popper. Another wants to beat his four-hour edging record with new popperbate videos and asks us for recommendations. After guys send their recs, the facilibator puts a question to the group. “Is anyone penising today after work?”
I offer to have a group over. The facilibator is in, as are three other guys.
The four of them arrive at my place. After some small talk about delays on the tube, we take our clothes off and sit in a circle around our lube, poppers, and cock rings. I put gooner porn on TV, and we pass around my friend’s poppers inhaler. We’re jerking together, but each of us is in our own world, chanting “PENIS” together on an endless loop like it's our mantra. After two hours, I’m the first to cum all over my chest. Everyone else quickly follows suit and we lick each other clean.
Day 3
I go to London Jack-Off Club at Bunker with a few good goony boys from the group chat. Every Monday night, it’s a jerk off only party. Most of the guys there are older, so my gooners and I are the center of attention.
We jump between several circlejerks, always at the center. I sit on my knees and goon out, staring at the silhouettes in front of me, excitedly waiting for them to shoot a load on my face or chest. After two hours, I get 10 loads shot on me, and I’m so coated in man juice I can barely see. My gooner buddies and I take pics of each other’s cum-covered faces to send to the groupchat.
Day 4
I meet up with a friend who’s not part of the group. As far as gooning goes, this friend is pretty tame— he sticks to a simple tongue out and a lot of poppers, but doesn’t embody the full gooner spirit. In the group chat, we’re about intense, full-on monkey gooning, where we lose control verbally and physically.
Right now, this friend and I have a platonically intimate friendship. No sex, but we cuddle and watch a movie while our boners poke each other. It always gets me riled up. After he leaves, I get out my lube and cock rings, turn off the lights, put on my favorite gooner hypno for maximum drool, and edge. The goon is intense, and I’m desperate to cum. After an hour, I finally give in and splooge all over my desk. Obviously, I lick up the free protein and send a photo of my cum-covered tongue in the groupchat.
Immediately, the facilibator replies: “Hot bro juice, man.”