< BLOG ARCHIVE

Cruising Confessions: Side In My DMs

08.01.24

Sides define themselves as neither top nor bottom, preferring non-penetrative practices to buttstuff. In this episode, Gabe and Chris go deep with the BATEBANDIT XL, the “Messiah of Masturbation”, about why he identifies as both a side and a bator, and why he created the BBXL Bate Bros, an international organization that holds online and in-person events for Black and Brown masturbation enthusiasts. Then our hosts learn all about what led BATEBANDIT XL to start making horny (and hot AF) hip-hop music chronicling his wild life as a bator.


A Note From the Director, Adam Baran

Everyone knows about being a top or a bottom, but the phenomenon of queers identifying as “sides” is relatively new. Even though there have been other terms to indicate one’s desire for non-penetrative sex, the term “side” seems to be intended to place it alongside top or bottom as an overarching description of taste, energy and vibe. After all, expanding terminology and definitions are how members of sexual subcultures find each other. Parsing out these gradations, sexual fluidity, and how sides (and bators) find pleasure, is the main topic of this week’s incredibly funny, incredibly horny episode.

As a bator and gooner myself, I knew we had to have this week’s guest, BATEBANDIT XL, on the podcast. BATEBANDIT XL has become an iconic figure in the bator community for both his role in creating an international network for masturbators of color, and for his filthy, masturbation-centering hip-hop music. His most famous song, “BEAT THAT DICK UP” has become a bator anthem. It’s frequently heard on the soundtracks of popper trainer videos and bate compilations that pop up on tube sites. When I talked to the MC himself, I learned that BATEBANDIT XL also identified as a side, and had made posts responding to some ridiculous X/Twitter beefs between some sides and angry bottoms.

Needless to say, there was a lot to talk about and when our special guest arrived, clad in his black balaclava-style face mask and sunglasses. The conversation ran the gamut from our hosts and guests early masturbation exploration, to the emergence of bate zooms during the pandemic, to squirting, fuck machines, and the length of a football game. As always, personal stories and wild details are balanced with a healthy dose of personal advice, this time about edging techniques. Plus, our hosts got to hear—and dance to—“BEAT THAT DICK UP”, alongside the incredible artist that made it.

Finally, Gabe and Chris play another side-centric edition of “PUMP OR DUMP?” leading to one of my absolute favorite funny moments in the series. Grab your Albolene, hit that play button, and see if you can edge through the episode. We won’t tell.


Follow the hosts:
Gabe Gonzalez
Chris Patterson-Rosso

Guests featured in this episode:
BATEBANDIT XL
BBXL BATE BROS

Back to blog